0:00

My name is Gary Henderson. And I built the creator studio to show you what's possible. I have a question for you before we dive into our episode. How many of you have an idea or spreading. You have this idea that you want to share with the world? If you do than today's guest is absolutely perfect for you. Darryl, Stinson's going to share with us. What it takes to turn your idea. Into an insane talk. And a talk that can hit some of the biggest stages in the world. Like a TEDx talk and on top of that, Is going to give us the very best marketing tool for a viral speech, because it's not just about getting the talk. It's not just about nailing the talk. But it's about leveraging that talk to get all the exposure that you need for your idea. So follow the show and get ready let's jump right into the studio with Darryl Stinson

Gary Henderson: 1:00

Well, creators, we're in the studio today and today's really, really special to me. Getting the ability to speak on huge stages and impact millions of people is one of my goals in life. I think it's an opportunity for creators to change the world. And Daryl has a special art of being able to do that. We're going to spend some time today talking about that, but before I do... I wanna share Darrell's ultimate goal in life. And it's really simple, it's really straightforward, and I think it's something we can all relate to. Darrell's ultimate goal in life is to be known for how he loves and how he gives. So he's here today to love on us, to give us some knowledge to help us out. So welcome in the chat. Darl and Darl. Welcome to the studio.

Darryll Stinson: 1:59

Thank you for having me. So excited to be here today. It's going to be epic.

Gary Henderson: 2:04

So Darl, I wanna go back to that kind of college time. You were a division one athlete. You played football right?

Darryll Stinson: 2:10

Yeah. Yup. Played football. I actually went to college to play both. A lot of people don't know that part of the story.

Gary Henderson: 2:16

So, you played football, and where did you go to school at?

Darryll Stinson: 2:20

I went to school at central Michigan university. I'm originally from Michigan. Um, and at the time was the top 100 athlete.

Gary Henderson: 2:27

Wow. When was this Do you,

Darryll Stinson: 2:30

2012. Wait, no, sorry. 2008, 2008.

3-garyhenderson_0: 2:38

2008!

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 2:40

Yeah.

3-garyhenderson_0: 2:42

Whoa. That's like, that's like Cam Newton time. Right? As Bryant time. Right?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 2:52

Yup. Yup. And that air in that air.

3-garyhenderson_0: 2:55

So, did you ever, like, this is, this is, we're gonna go down a tangent just for a second here.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 3:00

Yup.

3-garyhenderson_0: 3:01

2007 2008, Cam Newton was a high school senior. I was running a all star game called the Offense Defense All American Bowl. That was my event that I created as an employee of a company. We were televised on ESPN and we brought in Cam Newton and Des Bryant and Golden Tate and all those guys to come into an all star game. So that's right around the time, probably, that you were in that window.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 3:29

Yup. That's right.

3-garyhenderson_0: 3:31

Wow, it's a small world.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 3:34

It's a small world after all.

3-garyhenderson_0: 3:37

I bet you if I go back through my notes somewhere, if I still had all those emails, I bet your name was on that list because we worked with Rivals. com to recruit our athletes. And we were second tier because the army game and Rich Goldstein, he got all the people at the army game, right? That was the big one for high school kids. And we came in second tier and got the second tier. but we ended up getting like top tier because we brought in like Chris Carter and all these big coaches to coach everybody up. So we got like the guys that weren't like marquee stars, but the real players that went on to, you know, kind of do some real cool stuff. That's really such a small world.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 4:14

That's right, man. It's so crazy. But that's why we're here today.

3-garyhenderson_0: 4:18

It is, it is. So you, you got injured in college. Is that right?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 4:25

Yeah. Yeah. I had back surgery, man. Um, just was trying to impress upperclassmen with how, um, you know, strong I was. And so as a freshman, I basically ruptured this in my back and didn't know the difference between being hurt and being injured. And so I played on that injury for far too long until I had atrophy in my left leg. And by the time I actually had my surgery, it was an emergency because my left leg was going to go paralyzed. So they, they did that, you know, sold me up and told me, you know, I had a golden ticket to focus on my education and that they would still honor my scholarship. And I can come around football whenever I want it. Cause they value my leadership, but you know, sports wasn't what I did. It was who I was. So I couldn't let it go that easily.

3-garyhenderson_0: 5:10

Wow. So you just kept pushing.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 5:15

Just kept pushing, man. You know, whenever our identity is attached to something that's outside of ourself, we will put that thing in front of ourselves. So for me, it was always sports first and me second. So regardless of how my emotions were, my mental health. was my body was feeling. It was like, Hey, me hurt was better than the next guy fully healthy. And so I ended up begging the coaches to let me come back. I signed a liability waiver. I played and earned a starting position within six months of a back surgery as a defensive end in a division one football program that that year won the match championship. It was ranked 23rd in the nation. So You know, had some success, but did so at a cost to my physical, emotional, mental, social health. Um, because I was sacrificing myself on the author of success. I really was.

3-garyhenderson_0: 6:06

Wow. You said me hurt was better than the next guy. Healthy. Talk to me about that a little bit.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 6:11

Yeah. It's just the pressure, right? Like you don't want to let your team down. You know that, you know, coaches jobs are depending on it. You know that you're all striving to win a championship. And so you being the best guy, even if you're hurt, You know, is I made a decision to put my team first and to put, you know, what we were trying to accomplish, you know, team before me, we always say, and so it's not I before team and, you know, just made a poor decision. And a lot of athletes find themselves in that decision or people in general who have staff employees, depending on them. And you feel like maybe you need to make a decision where people may lose their jobs or the team may not be at. You know, the best position to win. And so that pressure caused me really to make a decision that wasn't, you know, in my best interest from a physical standpoint or even a spiritual.

3-garyhenderson_0: 6:59

Wow, that's, I mean, that one's, that one hits home. Like, me hurt was better than the next guy healthy. You know, that's delegation. It's trust. It's there's so much tied up in that,

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 7:12

Yeah, for sure.

3-garyhenderson_0: 7:13

so much tied up in that.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 7:15

Yeah, for sure. It's a messy, messy debacle to be in.

3-garyhenderson_0: 7:19

So what took you, what was that, that, that changing point for you, where you finally started to shift?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 7:27

Well, I crashed and burned essentially. So, you know, I did that for two years and there's a lot of story in that, you know, sold drugs to cover the cost of my medical expenses was living a double life. I was like this honorable starting athlete. On one hand, and then I was like this drug dealing guy who was really just coping with a lot of emotional suppression on, you know, living a whole different lifestyle and, you know, that came to an end. I was taking so many opioids that it was studying my blood to the point where every time I made contact on the field, my nose would bleed and then coaches saw that it wasn't allergies and they kicked me off the team going into my senior year. And from there, that's when I was forced to face the fact that I had hid behind my athletic persona for since I was in elementary school, um, that I really didn't know who I was or who my real friends was. I knew people love me for my gift, but I didn't know if people love me for me. And so, um, you know, that sent me into this real dark depression that ultimately led to multiple suicide attempts. And I ended up in a psychiatric unit in Detroit, and that's where my life changed forever.

3-garyhenderson_0: 8:33

Wow. You said you knew they loved you for their, your gift, but you didn't know that they loved you for you.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 8:41

Yeah. A lot of times, man, if you're extremely talented or gifted or influential or wealthy, it's sometimes hard to discern of who's in your life because of what they can get from you and who's in their life because they actually support you. And it's a hard thing because you have something that people want because you have a gift that's so apparent and it's hard to see you behind it. And so that was, that was challenging for me and it caused me a lot of insecurity and I watched people who was asking about my family and how they were doing while I was, you know, playing sports and actively in the spotlight. But then when I wasn't anymore, I mean, they didn't know me from Adam. And that was hurtful to me because I thought, you know, our interactions were more genuine.

3-garyhenderson_0: 9:23

Yeah. I, I, I, I'm, I'm right there. Like, I feel this. I'm right there with you. So you're, you're in Detroit, you're in this psychiatric ward. That's kind of the bottom of this, but that's where, what happens there? What's

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 9:37

Multiple things. Um, number one, I had a lady come and witness to me about Christ and I put my faith in Christ. And it gave me hope that, man, my life has purpose worth living beyond this moment. And the other thing that happened is I, I, I went through a series of self care. So I, you know, I had to meet with a psychiatrist while I was there. I had to meet with a counselor. Had to meet with a nutritionist. I had to do mindfulness exercises. Had to meditate. Had to journal. And for the first time in my adult life, I had learned that I could access those same feelings of... Being on power and being on top and being an elite athlete from within myself without having that vehicle of sports. And it was enlightening when I speak, I tell people I learned that I can build my life from the inside out versus the outside in. So I left there literally like Clark can't become Superman. I'm on fire for the world. I want to serve and impact people. I got my degree in integrated public relations and I started working in higher ed communication and within three years won some awards there for higher ed communications.

3-garyhenderson_0: 10:39

that's really, I mean, it's the Christ part I get. Um, I think that's, that's there. The self care part I find interesting.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 10:49

Mm hmm.

3-garyhenderson_0: 10:51

Like, I think a lot of people, when they hit that point and they, They have a moment where someone talks to them about Christianity or religion or something that's, that's a, that's a really good moment for a lot of people and that's common, but the self care piece. What did you, like, had you never experienced that before? Like, where you were meditating and getting, like, your head right for games and stuff?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 11:12

In some ways, but it was all around like the getting something from an external result. It was never around like being the actual result. You know, it was always like, you know, Oh, I'm visualizing success and I'm visualizing winning this championship so that people will love me so that people will accept me when I dominate, when I win. It wasn't like I am worthy and valuable and, um, someone of esteem and confident a champion today and therefore experience that championship tomorrow. It was outside and not inside out. Um, and, and yeah, so I was a striver. I wasn't a very conscious being at the time.

3-garyhenderson_0: 11:50

It makes sense. So you were able to take this moment. When you, when you stepped out, were you... Were you just like confident and you're ready to crush the world? You said you were like Clark Kent, but we're like, did you hit moments where you were like, am I, am I not worthy of this? Am I like, are they going to look at my past? Or did you just, just

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 12:09

All problems went away and I never had one since. I'm just kidding.

3-garyhenderson_0: 12:12

isn't lovely.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 12:14

it feels like that because I was living at such a low vibration, such a low, I was covered in so much shame, so much guilt, so much insecurity. So to come out of that with purpose and hope and passion and understanding was like a big game changer. Um, but my biggest, like, I guess, roadblock in terms of where it is. Where it is that I'm at today was around speaking and telling my story, um, after working in higher ed for probably about a year and a half, like it became obvious, like, Hey, what happened to the star athlete guy? And so people kind of, you know, in Michigan, at least we're asking around what happened to me. And so I would get a couple of requests to come share my story about, you know, what people were finding out. I went through this depression and things, and I wasn't living this lifestyle of being a drug dealer. Um, like I was, and they wanted me to come talk to like a youth high school team or something like that. But people don't understand that I was so insecure about my ability to speak that when people had icebreakers, I would fake like I had to go to the bathroom so that I wouldn't have to talk in front of people. Like, that's how insecure I was. One of my first speeches, I actually wrote it out word for word, because I was always confident in my writing ability. And I read it into a recorder and then when I got to the speaking engagement, I left one of my headphones in to give the audience the impression that I forgot to take my headphones out, hit play on the recorder and started to literally recite what the recording was playing. But I speak a lot faster than I read. So I got off sync with the recording and literally started to repeat multiple sentences. It was so embarrassing. There was all American athlete there in another hall of famer. And it was so embarrassing. One of the top embarrassing moments. But that was probably that biggest like challenge in terms of, and how do I take this passion and this confidence that I feel just in general and apply it to what I feel called to do, which is impact lives through public speaking. And that was quite the challenge for me.

3-garyhenderson_0: 14:06

So you're this, you know, division one, all pro athletes, you hit this rock bottom point. You. Learn yourself, find yourself. You feel amazing. You've got the, I mean, the, the, the best story to tell. You were great. You hit the bottom, you triumph, you're crushing it and you're scared to speak.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 14:37

Definitely scared, like sweaty palms.

3-garyhenderson_0: 14:43

So how did you know you needed to speak? Like, what was it about speaking that, that started to push you there?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 14:49

Man, it's one of those inner knowing things, man. And I wish I could give you some, you know, I did a post. It was like, Hey, how do you know you're called to speak? Right. And I was like, Hey, if you go to a conference and half the time, you're thinking about how you can do a better job than the people that are presenting your call this week. Hey, if you get in the shower and you have long showers and you come up with all these speech ideas, you're called to speak. Like, and I just went on this like tangent. So there's a lot of those little evidences of things I was fascinated by or, or, or even frustrated by. I always say your frustration is an invitation. To exploration and a lot of times that exploration leads to evidences of your purpose. And so, um, I was, you know, there's some breadcrumbs in there where, you know, I would get frustrated when I see speaker lineups. I would, you know, be fascinated when I would see amazing communicators. Um, and then there was like this inner knowing of like feeling like, man, yeah, this is what you're supposed to be doing. Um, obviously I had some people inviting me to speak. Um, and then when I would do it, the feedback was still like, even when I sucked, when I did suck at video footage, I couldn't put like two complete thoughts together. Even then, I think the emotional space I was coming from, um, my, my willingness to be vulnerable. Um, we'll still have a, still have a level of impact on people back then. So I would get that feedback from people that this is something that I should do more of.

3-garyhenderson_0: 16:15

Yeah, I could I could see it. Were you comfortable telling your story at the beginning? Or were you hesitant? Were you shy about it?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 16:23

Oh, man, I was beyond, hesitant doesn't describe it. I was a rebellion. Like, I remember one time when my pastor had asked me like to share my testimony on a Wednesday. I told him I needed six months to prepare for like 10 minutes. That's like, I was like, not going to do this thing unless I like practice and practice and practice and practice and practice deeply insecure because growing up, I grew up in the hood and I'm a black guy and I grew up in accelerated learning classes because I was smart and that made me one of two black. Students in an all white class. So I used to get made fun of a lot for the way that I taught. They used to call me like a white boy when I would speak my, you know, black peers did in my school. And so because of that insecurity around like, Hey, am I speaking right? Am I speaking too white, too black? Am I speaking intellectually enough or not enough? Um, you know, I carried that insecurity into, you know, my adult life of. Being called to speak. And so I just never knew how I was supposed to show up if I was going to be received, if people were going to respect me because, you know, the traumatic experience that I had growing up was that people didn't accept me for the authentic voice that I had.

3-garyhenderson_0: 17:37

I think you have an amazing voice for what it's worth. I think you're funny.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 17:41

Thank you.

3-garyhenderson_0: 17:42

I think you show up great. I think you do great. Um, what was the you start speaking? You figure this out. What was your journey and learning to be a speaker?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 17:56

Yeah, several. So, you know, I hired tons of coaches, um, you know, John Maxwell, Eric Thomas, um, Lisa Nichols, Bishop TD Jakes, one of my favorite coaches, um, just helping me learn frameworks, um, frameworks was helpful when I started to see like some of the stories that are in like a hero's journey or a Monroe's motivated sequence type of framework that when you put your. Talk your thoughts into a structure. It makes it easier for people to follow. So like Lisa Nichols from, from me to you, to you as a structure, your journey as a structure. And there's so many of them that started to help. Cause then it helped me to connect thoughts together versus just running on and people being like, Hey, what's kind of the point. Um, learning how to use alliteration and different things and that process really helped when I started to say things like your pain is the pathway to your purpose and all that type of stuff that we hear and people cling to it and get it. It started to become more fun and less triggering. So I started to see some of that. And I think the biggest thing that shifted me was having a legit experience. It's like, there's a difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. There's a difference between knowing something intellectually and knowing something with all of your soul and being. And so I would hear like, Hey, it's about your impact. It's not about your image. Right. I would hear that all the time, but I wasn't actually showing up in the way that was congruent with that belief until I did the speaking engagement as a youth, a bunch of youth students, probably a couple hundred youth there. And there was, you know, 20 or so at the end who came to say thank you. And at the end of that line was this 14 year old girl. And she comes up to me and she's shaking and she lifts up this wristband that she has on her wrist and you can see these cuts on her wrist. And she said my parents dropped me off at an orphanage last year. And she said I've been cutting myself to deal with the pain because I couldn't figure out what was so wrong with me that made them go. I haven't told anybody this since I've been doing this, and you're the first person I'm telling this to because there's something about hearing your story that gave me the strength to come out about it. When she told me that, I broke down and cried like a baby. And hugged her, all of this stuff. One of the staff members had been to 14 different orphanages. She spent a couple of hours just like loving on that young lady. But that was the moment where I really started to get it, that my vulnerability, listen closely, you guys, my vulnerability was directly connected to the impact that I made from stage. Meaning, the more vulnerable I was willing to become, the more impact that I was tangibly making. And that lit a fire of me to be more vulnerable, to surpass the feelings of being in security because those were primarily coming because I was focused on my image and not on my impact. And that was the day it went from head knowledge to heart knowledge. And probably was one of the greatest accelerants to my speaking career.

3-garyhenderson_0: 21:00

That was powerful. Like I have tears on my face. Like, I think taking all the lessons that you learned and experiencing it I like the the head knowledge to heart knowledge Because there's a huge difference you can you can learn a lot, but you've got to live a lot

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 21:19

Mm

3-garyhenderson_0: 21:20

And I think that's what you did you you lived this it's not about learning. I mean, I Think that we can go and I could go take the same Lessons from the same speaker coaches that you did, but if I'm not vulnerable and if I'm not sharing my story, and if I'm not, I'm not going to make an impact.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 21:37

Nope. No, you'll be a Copycat version of somebody else versus the authentic version of you.

3-garyhenderson_0: 21:46

So what year was this that you figured this out?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 21:50

Oh man

3-garyhenderson_0: 21:52

It's a tough one.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 21:54

It was in stages. I don't even know I forgot it fully figured out. I Still think that there's layers and levels to evolution You know, we go from knowing to doing to becoming and I just, you know, I think there's, I'll forever be a student of this craft and it will ever, you know, I, I don't think anyone outgrows their insecurities. I think our relationship to the insecurity changes. Okay. I'll say it again. I don't think that we outgrow them. I think that our relationship to them changes, meaning that when they come up and it used to take me two days, two years to move through it, to be in an empowered state. Now it takes me two seconds. Okay. So the feelings still come up. Sometimes when I get, you know, push my edge and growth, it's still like, Oh, can I really do this thing? Like I'm hosting like my first transformational events this year. And I've done events in the past, tons of them, but like, To make it about being a spiritual vessel to make it about fullest expression to really display my expertise at the highest level using elements and things like it's vulnerable to put myself out there like that coming from some of the circles I come from and I feel those feelings come up again. Those insecurities. Oh man, people don't accept you. Do they? All the things come up. It's just my relationship to it has changed. So I don't know if there was really a pivotal story that I told you happened in 2000. 2016. 2016. Yeah.

3-garyhenderson_0: 23:25

Yeah. So that's about five years after four or five years after college, right? About, about seven years ago, right? You had that moment. You, you dug in, you started going out there and. You've kind of figured it out. I mean, you've had, you've done what, two TEDx talks now? You've had one, like, millions of views, is that right?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 23:50

Yup. 2 million plus baby before they act that baby and shut it down. It's not hacked, but it's like they flagged it. Cause they said it's like triggers people for suicide, even though like there's thousands of comments and people say the opposite.

3-garyhenderson_0: 24:06

And then, What's the process? You help people take their message and turn this into this big movement and go on these big stages. How does someone listening to our show know if that's the right step for them? If they should be shooting to be on, like, a TEDx stage, or they should be shooting to get on, like, some bigger stages. How do they know and how do they get started?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 24:30

Man, that's a good question. Um, Man, there's a calling piece there. I guess if you feel called to do it, then you know, um, but some practical things, you know, one of the things I look for is a person that already has kind of like proven expertise to produce life change in the area that they want to speak about. So I primarily am talking about like, you know, aces, they say authors, coaches, entrepreneurs, you know, um, those type of people. And so, um, if you have proven ability to transform someone's life and you. Are not trying to use TED to validate your expertise. Rather you want to leverage the platform to share a seed of an idea from the work that you've already been successful at doing. I think you're a great candidate. You know, Ted is about ideas. We're spreading. Um, people think it's about speeches worth giving and it's about ideas. We're spreading an idea is different than like a traditional keynote, for example, and people are still having a hard time figuring that out. Um, but if you have an existing community proven to life change, if you have a desire to change the world, if you have an idea, a passion. To make an impact in the lives of other people, uh, you're probably a great candidate to do something like that. Um, the good thing about Ted is as much of a major platform as it is, there's many, many events that are looking for underdogs. They're looking for the person who has yet to blow up. You know, they want to help you to do so. They want to find the underdogs and help them win. And so if you're someone who feels like that, like maybe my story isn't traumatic enough, I haven't overcome suicide like Daryl. You don't have to. You don't have to. You could grow up with a white picket fence and your family was multi multi millionaires, but you still have a unique journey. And there's your learned experience that you learned from college, your degrees, your certifications, and there's your lived experience. That you learn from hardships from trials from losses if you're willing to look for the lessons in the losses So if you're a person that has done that work and is inspired to do more of it Then I say you're a great candidate for your message being one that reverberates around the world

3-garyhenderson_0: 26:40

I love that. And do you... Like, do you start speaking locally and getting your practice in kind of like you did and, and go through the ranks or do you just, you know, say, I'm going to do a TEDx talk today and submit and pray because we're going to pray and we hope it works out. Like what's the process that you're most likely, because I think it's a very coveted stage. And it's one of those things that when you put that on your resume, that it opens up a lot of doors for you, I would imagine. So.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 27:09

and if you do it in a way that is actually fire in your speeches and trash then the speech is going to You know, have a level of resonance on the Internet and because of the built in audience and some, you know, standard marketing stuff that everybody should do if they do a talk, you should have an opportunity to reach a lot of people.

3-garyhenderson_0: 27:27

I love that. So what?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 27:32

Break it down. Break it down. Okay. Yes. To answer your question, you can start off free. You can always figure it out. And you can, it's, we live in the information age, right? Like, we can Google how to do just about anything. Um, so do that. Um, the process that I bring people through both in the TEDx process and public speaking process. I'll just break those processes down.

3-garyhenderson_0: 27:52

Oh,

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 27:52

within the TEDx, if we can think about the acronym of TEDx, that's how I break it down. Okay. So I say, say TEDx in the mirror three times. TEDx, TEDx, TEDx. Haha. Mary, Mary, Mary. Anyways, um, T stands for your talk. Okay. We talked about the importance of having an idea worth spreading. So TEDx is not a keynote. Okay. TEDx is not a page. TEDx is not a workshop. TEDx is a presentation of an idea worth spreading. Okay? You should be able to put your idea into one sentence or less. Many people know Simon Sinek. One sentence. People don't buy what you do. They buy why you do it. Okay? Dr. Wallinger, The Good Life. The Good Life is built with good relationships. My idea. Rejection is not something we should avoid, it is something we should embrace. Okay? The idea in one sentence. How do I get to that? Man, go through a process of self discovery. One of the questions that I ask people is what has life made you a master of? If you were to look at your learned experience and your lived experience and you ask yourself the question, and what has life made me a master of when I went through my journey, I originally want to do my talk on athletic transition because I have a book about that. And I wanted to leverage the platform to sell my book. But when I went through this process and I looked at my entire life, my lived and my learned, and I asked myself the question, what has life made me a master of? Me and a coach helped me to see that I had overcome multiple forms of rejection in my life and that I was a master at overcoming rejection. So I did a talk based upon that idea. And athlete transition was a form of rejection that I faced. And I think it helped me to have mass appeal instead of just athlete appeal. Okay. So that is your top. The second is your elevator pitch. Okay. This is an application and there's several components that go to it. Okay. You've got to have a talk idea. You have to submit a written version of your idea and there's some written elements to applications when you apply to TED. You can go directly to ted. com, see all of the open events that are available. You want to start with, um, uh, events that are local to your community because there's more spots for local speakers than there are for outside of state speakers. Okay, so you have your idea of the rent format. You do a 1 minute and usually a 2 minute video that explains that. And here's what they want to know. They want to know what's your idea in one sentence or less. Why are you the person to speak about that idea? What makes it different from other ideas? Even if the difference is your story, you want to talk about what makes it different. Okay, and then why is it relevant to their particular theme? Okay. Um, and these are questions that you ask on an elevator page. Okay. I've got all types of templates and stuff that I can send people, but that is the E. Okay. Then we talk about your delivery. So I have my talk. I have it outlined. I have it based upon a central idea. I've got my. Applications going, I've got all my assets ready, and now I'm practicing getting ready for that big opportunity as I land it. Okay, I want my delivery to be world class. The best marketing tool for viral speech is a great speech. I'm gonna say it again, the best marketing tool for viral speech is a great speech. A lot of people try to do with ads what they could have done with delivery. I should say that again. A lot of people try to do with ads what they could have done with delivery. So if you practice all your delivery, your, your body language, your, um, your emotional resonance, your depth of storytelling, your creative expression. Um, you'll be on, on, on the track to, to doing a world class with your speech. So that is your delivery. Okay. I'm happy to answer your questions within that too. And then X stands for multiplication. So T is talk, E is elevator pitch, D is delivery, X is multiplication. And here it's all about just getting your message out there and monetizing that opportunity. And that's going to look different for some people. It's going to be speaking, writing, podcasting, social media. That's kind of where they need to Need to go talk to Gary and help them to monetize their own platform to the next level, because most people stepping into this again already have a proven expertise coaching programs and all that stuff, but they're looking to make global impact and a bigger amount of it. So, all about multiplication, knowing that TEDx is not the finish line. It's the starting line. A lot of people teach TEDx, like it's the bucket list. Like, Oh, I did the thing it's on the website. Now I'm using it. And it's like, yo, you just opened up a whole new world. If you've gone through the process in a way, that's a line. Now let's get you featured on some of the Ted blogs. Let's get you on some of the Ted interview sites. Let's see if Ted will reshare your top. Let's see if we can get you the global visibility. That warranted you putting in all this time, energy, and effort to make this happen. So that's the TEDx process. I'm going to pause there for like questions and some riff, and then I can break down the speaking process for you.

3-garyhenderson_0: 33:13

that was absolutely insane. We have to work on our talk. We have to have an idea or spreading. And I think that's a really I wrote that down. It's literally twice on my yellow pad within like six lines of each other idea. We're spreading idea. We're spreading because yeah. I think that's a challenge. What are we world class out? What are we an expert at? And what kind of idea do we want to spread? And what you said is you worked with your coach. So rather than talking about, you know, this, this athlete stuff, it was rejection. And that's an underlying idea that has a much more impactful and approachable message for a lot of people all over the world. And that's not just about athletes. It's something that everybody else can see. One of my favorite TEDx talks, um, it's, it's the pancake talk, and it's this lady that talks about, we all have difficult decisions, and she talks about coming out of the closet, and I'm not a lesbian, I'm a guy, but she talks about coming out of the closet, and it's this little kid that asks her, are you a boy or a girl, and that was, like, that was a huge talk to me, I've watched that talk probably 30 times, I watch it before I give speeches, it's just, it's, it's impactful to me, and I think that moment of you working with a coach, Like, do you think you would have got here if you didn't have coaches?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 34:29

No way blind spots. I couldn't even see what I didn't. And I was resistant to the advice at first. If you, if you want to know, if you have a limiting belief, pay attention to what somebody bond with the problem. I did that to my coach. He gave me the answer. This is what you do. And I'm like, well, I don't know. Here's the problem. I was hitting a limiting belief. I couldn't see outside of my own experience into the greater collective view.

3-garyhenderson_0: 35:01

Yeah, it makes, it makes so much sense. The elevator pit I get, and then you said the delivery, and you know, it's interesting that you said that the best marketing tool for a viral speech is a great speech, because Reid Tracy is the CEO of Hay House. And Reid looked at me one day, and I don't know if you know Reid, but he kind of talks in a slower, Southern voice, and he looked at me one day, and he said, You want to know the secret to selling a lot of books? And I said, I do. I mean, like you're the CEO of a house, like what's the secret read? And he said, write a good book that people want to read.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 35:37

Come on. Mm hmm.

3-garyhenderson_0: 35:38

He said, most books, Gary, they go on the shelf and they never get read.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 35:42

Yep.

3-garyhenderson_0: 35:43

But if you write a book that somebody wants to read and they read it, they're going to go somebody else.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 35:49

Mm hmm.

3-garyhenderson_0: 35:50

And that's how you sell a lot of books.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 35:53

Yep.

3-garyhenderson_0: 35:54

And it was, that's exactly what you said. The best marketing tool for a viral speech is a great speech. Talk to me a little bit more about the importance of, of really getting that delivery, right? You've, you know, you've worked it out, right? You've got the talk done. You've got the elevator pitch. They've selected you. What's the process to get ready to go on stage?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 36:15

Um, you have to be willing to do more drafts than what you're comfortable with, right? Like, so part of what I've noticed in when I was coaching my clients is like, they get this point where they did like 10, 11 drafts, right? And they're like, okay, it's like, it's, it's like, it's obviously my best speech today. I've never worked on any other speech this hard. And so I'm kind of good and it's like, Hey, I know you're good, but there's a standard here that we're trying to hold you to that is beyond what, what your good threshold is. And so a person being like, I would go into the speech preparation process with the mindset. That I want to do a minimum of a draft per week until my event, like every week I should have an updated draft, even if it's a sentence that changed or it's just my energy in this section of the speech that changed. Like you want to have a level of commitment to consistency and cranking out new drafts because that is what's going to help you to hold yourself to the commitment of the amount of reps that you need to do in order to get ready for the world class stage. Okay. So, um, That was a process I did. TEDx talks are written out word for word and, and, you know, if you go off script, they're not gonna flag you. The point of it is just so that you don't violate any of the tech guidelines, like no pseudoscience, no self promotion, all those things, okay? No religious agendas is another one. And so they make you submit a manuscript to look at what you're going to say to make sure you're not violating those rules. It's not to make you a robot. Okay. So you can go off script and do things that in profit audience. You just can't do it to the degree that you violate 1 of the 10 rules. So part of how you have something that is written out word for word that still feels natural is you have to practice it and keep making it more and more natural. So a lot of times people just go, well, how do I memorize the speech? And I'm like, well, part of the memorization process includes making the words more natural to how you talk in your everyday communication. So it doesn't sound like you're being robotic because you're speaking in a way that isn't how you normally talk to somebody over lunch or dinner. You're actually speaking in a way that you're authentic communication style. So you take your printed script, you have somebody sit, um, across from you in the room as you go through and practice your delivery out loud, and you have them mark things that feel clunky that does like where they get lost, where they get bored, and then they just mark it and mark it and mark it. And then you go back and you refine each of those. Oh man, I got bored in this part. Well, cause you kind of got on autopilot and you were just like saying stuff, but you weren't actually emotionally connected. You didn't like engage us like you would if we were at dinner and you wanted to be like, pull all of our attention in because you were given like this amazing toast. So, um, you have them really be analytical and nitpick at every little line of your speech. And then for each one, you find different ways to uplevel it, whether it's through your body movement, through the different word choices that you're using. Like you want to pay attention to all of these things. So, you know, to me, it's about doing reps about doing reps and having reflection on those reps, right? So this is like practice doesn't make perfect. It makes permanent. And so I have to have a level of reflect of reflection that refines my practice because I'm doing stuff. That's permanent behaviors. Does that make sense?

3-garyhenderson_0: 39:36

It makes absolute perfect sense. A TEDx talk is 18 minutes. You've got 18 minutes to deliver your entire message, and it hit all those emotional cues. It is, you said, it's the multiplication. I know what happens in delivery. It's the same thing that happens when you write a book. You write a book, and if you don't do anything with it, then you write a book, and it just kind of fizzles and dies. But if you write a book, And you go on the speaking circuit or you, um, you know, write more books or something like that, then it's, it's a platform that you can build on. So, it makes absolutely perfect sense. Um, I didn't know the part about the manuscript. That's, that's interesting. That's... Makes sense now why you're, you're redoing that a draft per week. What's the typical, what kind of lead time would you recommend someone, um, work on? Like leading up to a TEDx talk, they, from the time they're working on their talk,

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 40:26

mean ideally if you're in a, so my process is four months to prepare you for the stage. I've done it for people in as little as six weeks. Um, But it takes time man. So I'd say for three months would be my minimum is that I would recommend somebody do. Um, and there's there's always faster routes, right? Because again if with time, consistency, and intention you can move a little bit faster. So, but I would say give yourself three months so that you have enough time to really go through the creative process of doing something world class. Don't just get caught up in like, Oh, I got this stage and I just want to get on the speech. Like it's, it's just, you know, there's a lot of people who are TEDx speakers who don't even have over a thousand views. Right. And it's not all about views. I get it. But the reason why they don't have views is not because like, it's because they're talking. It's not good. I don't know how else to say it. It's not like they gave this great talk. It's like because they didn't put the effort in, because they were so happy that they were a TEDx speaker and they thought they could just get up there and rip it and do the same thing that they've always done and then they found out that it doesn't work like that. So give yourself the adequate amount of time. Highly recommend you work with a coach. Most TEDx events will offer some type of coaching support, but if it's not like one of the higher tier ones, chances are it's like a volunteer who was like a, you know, high school English teachers, not somebody who's like a professional speaker. And it's nothing against high school English teachers. I'm just saying that's not their profession. So they're not coming from a place of having done it. They're coming from a place of having studied it.

3-garyhenderson_0: 42:03

that makes absolute total sense. In a speaker journey, where do you see a TEDx talk? Do you see it at the beginning of their journey to kick off a lot of other stages, or do you see it mid journey, or where do you

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 42:14

Phenomenal question, dude. So you can use it at any stage. I would prefer for it to be in the beginning. I would, number one, you have less chance of your top getting flagged because They don't think you're getting on there to self promote all the stuff that you've got. So a lot of people, I have so many people that will come on a sales call and they'll be like, Oh, I'm in the middle of writing my book. Let me wait till my book comes out. Cause then I'm gonna do my Ted. And then I'm like, I'm like, that can work that way. Or some of the events could be like, this person's just trying to be used to promote their book. And so you might want to publish it before. Um, so I always recommend at the beginning of the journey is the best time, but it's going to work for you wherever you're at. Right. Um, and the reason why, the other reason why I suggest at the beginning is because when you get to an idea, think about an idea, an idea is like the core of a bigger thing, like an idea is a seed of a tree. It's not a tree. Okay. And you think about your seed being your message and that you're on Ted, you're doing a seed, but in speaking engagements and your coaching programs, you are having the full delivery of your entire expertise. And so knowing that it's just the seed. The process of getting to the core of your being and your message and why you're really here, what you really want people to know, to think, to do, to say, to believe, getting to the core of that shapes and connects and influences everywhere that message touch. It's going to show up in your coaching calls. It's going to show up in your meetings with your staff. It's going to show up on your social media because it's your core messaging. Right? Like Simon Sinek start with why he rode that train for a long time, even wrote another book that had to do with why after that, why? Because it was a seed of something that continued to blossom in other areas. And so I just think that if you can get that right in that core messaging, I know a lot of people. Who come into my backend speaker program and they've been like, I just talked to a dude like last week, he was doing six figures in speaking. He came to me and he was like, man, I'm doing all these gigs, but I'm doing different messages almost every single time. I don't really have that core. I'm talking about this. I'm talking about this. I'm passionate about that. I'm passionate about that. So going through a process where you get clear on that core messaging is really important. No matter what stage of the journey

3-garyhenderson_0: 44:43

That was such a great answer. Um, the beginning, It surprises me, but I feel the same way. A lot of people come to me and they say, like, I'm going to go out here and I'm going to do all this and I'm going to do all this and I'm going to do all this and then I'll build my community. I'm like, well, you should start building your community day one because you're going to need all those people to go where you're going. And if we build your community day one, then when you show up to give a speech, you have somebody there for you. When you post on social media, you have somebody to reply to you. I see unity as the seed, even though a lot of people say, let me go grow my audience before I focus on community. So while In my world, I would be like, man, I've got to go get a lot of experience and I've got to go get ready to get on the stage. So it should be mid journey and get your example because it relates perfect on my side too. So I'm glad I asked that. That was really cool.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 45:31

sure. And so many people come on, I would just say, do not wait. Y'all like whether you haven't even started as an influencer yet, like man, perfect time being an underdog. Let. Like, come up with a core of your message. You've, you've, you've had all this life experience that the world is waiting to hear of. Like, there is an idea buried beneath your pain. When I ask people, you think you have an idea? You think you have a story? You think you have a message worth sharing? It's like, I get, like, mixed. Like, it's kind of like my hand raises, but my, my hand's like the crocodile hand. Like, it's like, like my arm doesn't actually go all the way up. Like, you know, people might say yes, but there's not a full body yes all the time. But if I ask people, Hey, have you been through challenges? Have you been through pain? Have you been through hell? Have you been through betrayal? Have you been through rejection? Oh my gosh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I say, okay, then buried beneath the pain, buried beneath the betrayal. Uh oh, buried beneath the rejection is life's greatest wisdom. I heard my friend Andy said, he said, Daryl, when you lose the, he said, when you, when you lose, just don't lose the lesson, just don't lose the lesson. And the way that I said that, if I'm going to go through all that pain, I better get some power out of that pain. They say your test will become your testimony. I wasn't happy with that being a cliche. I wanted it to be a reality. I didn't go through suicidal ideations to live an average life. I went through that amount of self hatred and self loathing and self envy and self deprecation. I went through that amount of pain so I could have this level of power. The same is true for every listener in the room. So, if you have pain, you have a story. If you have betrayal, you have a story. If you have insecurity, you have a story. Because beneath that, is lessons for other people who have the same pain, the same betrayal, the same insecurity, the same lack of knowledge. Okay. And so just had to get down my chest. I didn't mean to go so motivational, but I mean, every word of that, every word of that, I mean, and I can see all the, I see all the love in the chat. Thank you. Let's go. I see you Tamika. I see you, Camille. I see, this is resonating. And what I would say is take a step. It might be Ted. Go to the freaking website right now. Reach out to me. I'd love to support. Reach out to a coach. It doesn't have to be me. I don't coach everybody. But you have a message to share. Go turn on the news and listen. To the people who have the ears of the public, they're instilling fear, worry, doubt. And I believe if you're in this room right now, you've got two choices. I'm going to be a critic or I'm going to be a contributor. Ooh, let me say that again. I'm going to be a critic. They shouldn't do this or I'm going to be a contributor. Let me share this story. I was on a plane and, um, there was a guy working for, um, a private consulting company and he went around consulting energy companies on how not to have a mass breakdown in their production that could kill millions of people because of the amount of energy they generate in their plants and their different activities and their companies. And he starts breaking down all the emissions and how, why our air is so polluted, why our water is so polluted, and he was just, he broke down why everything's messed up, what they're lying to me about, and how the government can fix it and save millions of lives. And I was like, dude, keep in mind, this is already after we talked about what I do. I was like, dude, you should do a TED Talk. Like, you should do a talk, you should just be on the stages, you should get this message out there, you can save a lot of lives. And he's like, I can't do that because I'm going to lose my job and then all of my employees will have to find another place to work. And I looked at him and I said, okay, he said, Oh, you think I'm a coward, don't you? I said, no, I think making the right decision is hard when people's lives are on the line. That's it. That's all I said. And I said, and if you want to let fear keep you from saving lives and that's you have the free will to do so. And that was kind of it. Moral of that story is this. The same is true for every person underneath the sound of my voice. There's other people that are on the side of your willingness to say yes to sharing your message and your story. It's true no matter who you are, no matter how big or small your influence is. And I believe that if you could just find a step, even if it's a baby step, Hey, I'm going to go to that website. Hey, I'm going to reach out to Gary. Hey, I'm going to reach out to Daryl. Hey, I'm going to write my story today and I'm going to reach out to one person. Thank you. Even if it's, I'm going to do it. I'm going to hit the live today and go live. And I'm going to talk about the power that I got from my painful seasons. Just do it. Just try it. I guarantee you that the impact will be someone saying to you, thank you so much. It's exactly what I needed to hear because when you get out of the way, that's when God does his best work.

3-garyhenderson_0: 50:52

Wow. When you get out of your way, that's when God does his best work.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 50:57

Mm

3-garyhenderson_0: 50:58

Darryl, you've done TEDx Talks, you've had millions of views and impressions. You've got a huge message that you want to impact the world with. What's maybe the one stage that you want to get on that you haven't got on yet? What's the bucket list stage?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 51:13

hmm growth con

3-garyhenderson_0: 51:17

GrowthCon. Yeah, why GrowthCon?

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 51:22

That's the name of what's his name? Uh Frickin, uh, Grant Cardone, right?

3-garyhenderson_0: 51:29

Yep, it is, it

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 51:30

Oh totally. Um Why do I want to be on girl time? Cuz it seems larger than life. It seems like that's where I need to be Um, I'm a competitor and I participated in, um, uh, Pete and Grant's, uh, speak off and, um, I bombed the second round or whatever I got me top 100 or whatever. And then when we got to the final semifinals, I just bombed it, uh, long story of why, but I bombed it and I'm pissed

3-garyhenderson_0: 52:05

You want, to walk out on that stage,

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 52:06

of that got to speak at, uh, That's all. I think it's a, it's a, it's an inspiration. It seems like a, you know, I already know Ted and it seems like the next largest thing to do. Um, so I want to do it for that reason. Um, and obviously the in person audience is epic. Um, and then because it's like redemption for losing my speaker competition. Oh, I love how

3-garyhenderson_0: 52:30

that.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 52:31

I am. It's just, it's hard sometimes, but I love it.

3-garyhenderson_0: 52:34

I love that so much. Darryl, what's the best place for our audience to connect with you? Ooh, I

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 52:40

Man, hit me up on social, hit me up on here. I'm on here now. Um, I'm gonna get back engaged. I was on like when you first started this baby and then I was gone for since then, honestly. Um, so man, um, hit me up on, on all social stints and speaks. I see the link in the chat. If you want to talk about speaking on more stages, um, corporations, associations, colleges, all that stuff, uh, mastermind events, summits, retreats, um, and then of course, TEDx. Just hit me up and then obviously all the socials man, and I'm out here If there's something I can do to make a connection or intro, I love doing that stuff y'all I love intro and people I just I just did it two seconds ago, man I try to I learned it from John Maxwell. He said he asked himself the question every single day He writes down five people. I think he said ten ten people That he can add value to I do five. Okay, five people every single day that I can add value to Um, and and it serves me wonders. So if you're one of those people just reach out.

3-garyhenderson_0: 53:39

like that. I'm gonna take that with me. Five people every day that I can add value to. Write those people down and work on that to add value. Darryl, thank you so much for joining us. I really, really appreciate you. This was an amazing session. I laughed. I cried. I learned a lot. I have... Two pages of notes. It's, it's a train wreck. I can't wait to go back through this again. Um, I appreciate you so much.

2-Darryll_Stinson_6441: 54:01

Yeah anytime. Love you guys

54:04

What a great session with Daryl Stinson. I talked about from going on the absolute top of the world. To rock bottom and coming out stronger than ever. Darryl actually living his passion and his dreams. I got to know Darrell and clubhouse, and really, really liked his energy. I love the ways able to help people. I was actually watching his Instagram story today. And he's got people practicing their TEDx talk. Now, I don't know about you, but whenever I heard that you have to have everything planned. And you have to have everything. Like documented and down to a T that just made me scared. I kind of talk off the cuff. I don't script stuff. And it made me scare, but I learned a lot today. I learned about taking this kind of big idea. Rather than taking something. Something that I want to teach, taking an idea that needs to be shared. And that was a big shift for me today. You know, I learned about taking this and when we finished the talk, like to me, it's like, man, I just finished my TEDx talk. Let's go have a beer. But I learned that that's just the starting point and there's a lot of work that happens after it. I also learn. And it's the big takeaway for me that. You should do your TEDx talk at the beginning of your journey. Because it sets the foundation for everything else that you. Build around. Like this was a great session for me. A TEDx talk has been on my bucket list for a really long time. And still is. I'm going to push it a little further down the road for me though, because. I just, I'm not ready for that idea to share yet. I'm not ready to go that scripted. I'm not ready to put in the amount of work that I would have to put in to make it work. It would take me hours and hours and hours to get to that level. And I'm not willing to put that work in today. So I'm just going to push that goal down the road a little bit, and I learn that. From Darryl. See our goal with this podcast is to show you what's possible. I know what's possible now with a TEDx talk. I know I can do it. And I know the commitment that I need to do. In order to get there. And when I'm ready to make that commitment, I know who I need to call. Make sure you're following our show. We have some insane guests coming up over the next couple of weeks. We have Chandler bolt. We have Rob Moore. We have Dylan. KeyVault so many great guests coming into the studio. Make sure you're following the show. If you're enjoying this, come into our community at gary.club/discord. Hit the introduction channel tell us hi, i'd love to meet you have a great day everyone